Kindergarten through Eighth Grade

In America, there are three main schools you go to: Elementary, Middle, and High. You start with kindergarten and work your way up to the twelfth grade. During kindergarten you learn the most important lesson the teacher will ever teach you: how to properly finger paint. The teacher allows you to use basic colors as well as purple – not a basic color. During the first grade, the teacher decides to commit suicide, so you’re class has art class everyday, only the boys around you are drawing tanks and missiles while the girls are drawing flowers and a triangle merged with a square in which they have an arrow that points to it that deciphers the word home. The second grade and third grade are literally the same thing because neither one actually teaches you something. The fourth grade is a turning point of a child’s life because the teacher finally says the words, “You’re finally growing up.” These are the words of death to a child because they will no longer enjoy being children because their teacher just ended their childhood, or if the teacher’s words didn’t affect them, they could just as well be characters from J.D. Salinger’s books. The fifth grade is alas the grade that can turn the children of the class either brave men and women or fruits. My friend told me his first trauma of having the first gay thought occurred in the fifth grade. Coincidence? The sixth grade is the next stage of this education system. Literally, it means that if you’re born into a farmer family, this is as high up as you may ever go in the American education system, otherwise, you may as well be homeless. For regular student who go to school, and regular does not mean Native America, the sixth grade just tempts students to try drugs. The eighties and nineties generations have pushed this anti-drug program to the school system that just begs the question and proves to students that the only way to chill out in class is to take a joint. Yeah, the program is “very” persuasive, isn’t it? Well, that just brings on the seventh grade – the pot grade. Class is no longer held to teach anymore, it’s more like a grievance period. The teachers will ask students how they feel and react to certain things, kind of like how pedophiles touch little children, but in a more philosophical sense. The eighth grade is arguably the most boring grade, ‘nuff said. For high school, read another article, that’s just way too complex. That’s where life turns to be centrally circles around the school life – who’s going out with who… what’s the next prank to pull… etc. In conclusion, America is in a state of buffoonery.